new beginnings

hello 2009 you have already given me much to be happy and thankful about. i am a lot happier now. i was really stagnant last year, didn't know what i wanted so didn't do shit. i guess it's the whole 4th year wake up call to the real world thing that got the ball rolling finally. it's all baby steps but i love the direction in which i'm heading. or rather, whatever direction i'm heading. learning new lessons on confidence and believing in oneself. eating seafood again has like opened my eyes or something, i'm so stoked these days. a very seldom occurrance, i had a nice phone conversation with my mom the other night, i told her how we had gone to eat at boiling crab.. i ate two pounds of crab and took a pound of crawfish (strange) home with me. she laughed and said "life must be more exciting now that you eat seafood" and you know what? it really is. haha

i'm taking control of my life more, trying my best to stay organized, going from keeping to do lists to doing my to do lists. smiling more. loving more. i met someone this weekend whom i can't get out of my head. opened my eyes a lot. realized i have to get out of this country and see the rest of the world. america is great because it is very self-sustaining, kinda a sort of mixing pot with no real need to ever leave. that's cool and all, and i'm not going in the direction of hating on america, but i need to build myself in different ways as well. i'm pretty excited, i'm going to hong kong at some point in the next six months, and going on a three week vacation to who knows where in september. i'm really fortunate..

finally said the big FUCK YOU to the sciences after failing chemistry for the third time. i guess it took me a year to realize what was really going on. happier with my classes this quarter, i actually feel motivated to learn and retain knowledge, rather than information (or at least to me). i'm taking this amazing public health / women's studies class, gender biology and environmental ethics.. i'll probably talk about this class later.. i was on campus from 9am-10pm yesterday, but getting out of that class at 9:40, i was pumped. i was dead tired but couldn't stop talking nor smiling i was so happy. seriously sitting in that classroom with a smart as hell professor and twenty other sick ass peers discussing these issues is so amazing to me, it makes me feel alive, like a real human being. capable of making a difference in this world, analyzing ideas we're affected by in every day society so that we can make positive change.