& up

the future really scares me, but it's about time i stop living day by day and try to plan something. i need to stop going down this path of not doing shit and start committing myself to things. so the newest (final?) plan is to do a full 5th year, which was the last thing i wanted to do since i've been proving that i don't take school (or myself) seriously at all.

how i SHOULD be looking things is that i now have this great opportunity to really make something of myself with this extra year. something i need to view as being fortunate enough to receive from my parents, then to not disappoint them any further and to prove to them.. anything, and everything. this is going to take a lot of effort on my part.

i have no idea what i'm doing with my life. being home has been pretty tough. where to from here? i need help.