settling in

it's been a while but i'm really happy now. it's a combination of many things, but first off, i'm just glad that my spop experience is really behind me now. i think i kinda lost my way during and after spop.. started looking at myself in a really negative light and doubted myself. instead of seeing all the things i was, had going for me and had to offer- i only saw what i wasn't.. and just spiraled downward with that. it sounds pretty stupid, but at least now i know i'm making progress with myself from having gone through that. i learned so much from the past year. i'm still and will always be sorting things out. i guess as time goes on you learn more and more about yourself, my journey is very slow, baby steps forever.

i love my roommates, they're so fucking tight. i love living here. i love it so much. haha, i don't even know.. they make me love myself so much more too. they say it how it is and tell me not to be so self conscious. i love being out of berkeley court.. feeling like i actually have a place to call home now. i'm a better student (thus far) and just happier. i feel independent with a car but spending most of my commute time on the bus instead every day to school makes me so happy. feeling comfortable with going out with only sandra last night was amazing too. lots of things to do. i brought my easel down so hopefully i'll get back into painting a little. just want to explore places and things down here, i love my room, all the natural light and our balcony with two double doors.. breeze running through the room. with house and electronica playing in the background.. hanging out with the roommates. not spending time in front of the tv. the perfect lazy sunday.