seven generations

so after going to bed at 10pm the first night from transit exhaustion, i woke up around 7am and chilled. that is really crazy for me cause i can hardly ever wake up before 11am unless it's completely necessary. it was nice, i listened to erica's ipod for a bit till i got through all the music i like, then went out to hang out with my uncle aunt and cousin while he ate his breakfast and got ready for school. the school is across the street and it's hilarious, he looks both ways and then his little 9 year old body jets across the street in his sweats and longsleeve uniform and huge ass backpack.

my aunt and i started chatting about college and areas of study, which led to her and what she's doing with her life. right now she's doing the whole housewife thing, but i guess after my cousin goes to high school she plans on going back to school and studying human resources, what she studied over in hong kong. it wasn't until after the conversation was finished that i understood her interest in resources for humans.. haha. so yeah that led into talk about knowing what you want to do with your life and not living in the shadow of your parents, not to have them dictate your future.. something that seems pretty ridiculous. that you shouldn't follow your parents interests blindly, but instead take what you will from the knowledge they give you and do things your own way.

haha i had no idea that this conversation was in store for me but i guess she had wanted to have this talk with my sister and i for a while, especially given the history of my mom's and uncle's family. crazy temper, pretty much. good ass hearts and intentions, compassion and generosity, but when it comes to family it's a whole other ballgame. she said just to try to understand my mom but to make a conscious effort not to fall into the same habits. that my mom is a really good mom she just has problems - problems that are not her fault. she talked about how my uncle can be at times, just unreasonable and angered over minute things. how that he obviously is a good person, or she wouldn't still be with him. how you just have to reason with them, since i only have one mom. how she tells him he's acting wrong when he is, cause she doesn't want her son growing up to be that kind of person and just crazy shit like damn you know what's up.

she told me about how he just snickered when he saw some kids with mohawks. she told him, "you know you can't be like that- when derek gets older, he might want to do something like that, and do you want him to feel that he has to hide things from you?" that kinda got to me cause of the nose ring thing, how generations are different and i'm not gonna live my life by their standards of right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. she said to just show them, instead of arguing on their level, that you can take care of yourself and be responsible and whatnot. i started crying cause of the crazy unfair judgements my parents place on my friends, and ppl that really mean a lot to me. the mohawk thing was the perfect example of how our relationship is just not cool. they are so close minded about things that have no standing when it comes to the character of the people around me. it's frustrating, and really offensive. my aunt was like, you have to tell them, "that really hurts me." we got a long way to goooooo